Important Reminders

Transitions, fondue, and keeping what matters | No. 010

My middle child came home from school Friday afternoon with this note in his planner. I have no idea if he missed other “important reminders.” Knowing my boy, he probably did miss some a lot of what his teacher said.

But, he got the lobster and “I LOVe mom and ᗡaᗡ” down.

It’s Labor Day Weekend and I’m thinking back to our family one year ago and can hardly fathom how things have changed in 365 days. Our family has seen each other through a staggering number of wild transitions this past year. We’ve navigated into and out of schools, diagnoses, health challenges, pregnancy, birth, emotional roller coasters, adoptions, jobs, and probably more transitions I can’t even recall right now (new baby sleep deprivation might be the frequent subject of parenting humor, but it is indeed no joke, as it turns out).

Every single one of us have cried our way through at least parts of this past year. My body hurts all over, and while I think that’s greatly attributed to a 41-week pregnancy, 49-hour labor, and the challenges that come with the first 3 months of being postpartum, I also know my body has carried me and my family through all of the other intense waves we’ve ridden this year.

If you’ve ever read the book “The Body Keeps the Score” then you’re familiar with the idea that overwhelming and traumatic experiences affect not only our brains, emotions, and mental states, but also our physical bodies. I will knock on wood before typing this next sentence, but I don’t think every year will bring this much change (Are You There God? It’s Me, Breeann).* After all, adopting two children and birthing another within a six month span isn’t something we plan on doing again. But then, we didn’t really plan on it happening that way this year either.

This year has been a wheel of constant change, the kind of change that turns your world upside-down. It has felt like we’ve spun that wheel again, and again, and again. With each of those spins came a thousand choices, feelings, decisions, conversations, and logistics to sort through.

Photo by Frederick Marschall on Unsplash

I think I’ll have more to say about this past year later on, but right now, we did it.

I also want to hold some important reminders close to my heart.

We were resilient, strong, and brave.

Our family has grown by three awesome kids.

Others supported us with parties, meals, cards, prayers, a million baby showers (seriously, we still haven’t had to buy any diapers and that’s not a small deal), gifts on gifts on gifts (quilts! baby gadgets! tiny pink clothes! oh my!), and endless kindness and celebration. We just couldn’t be more blessed in that category.

We always had love. That never changed.

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Three years ago, we had our first First Day of School with our older two children. They had been living with us a few months at that point, and Crazy Mom got the idea to make a new tradition. Making new traditions is a fun, sometimes difficult, but always necessary, part of forming a family through adoption. The weekend before school started that year, I went to the local church rummage sale and saw a brand new fondue pot for sale. Ding. New tradition. Our First Day of School Fondue Dinner was born. Or, as my middle child called it, FUNdue.

Photo by angela pham on Unsplash

This year the day to have our 3rd annual First Day of School Fondue Dinner arrived and both my husband and I were tired just thinking about prepping everything. We hadn’t told the kids were weren’t going to do it, but neither one of us were jumping up to start it either.

Maybe my oldest noticed our lack of movement or maybe it was just dinner time, but they said, “Mom, do you want me to start getting the fondue stuff ready?”

“Yes, that would perfect.”

And they did. They chopped mushrooms, potatoes, carrots, and onions. They prepped tempura batter. They cut up steak and precooked some prawns. They got the oil ready and heating up in the pot and found all the colored Fondue skewers.

We were still too tired and the baby cried for half of dinner, but it was fun, messy, delicious, and our quirky little tradition that was all ours, exactly what it should have been.

It was an important reminder to keep joy in the midst of chaos.

It was an important reminder to keep love and traditions alive even in the swirl of dizzying changes.

It was an important reminder to keep what matters and let the rest be there in the background, even if it’s just for one fondue dinner at a time.

*reference to one of my favorite Judy Blume books, “Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret.”