Wildflowers

Tattoos, a forever garden, and old lady arms | No. 011

freshly done flowers (photo of me taken by the artist Teal at Blaque Owl in Missoula, MT)

Peony, pink gerbera daisy, chrysanthemum, poppy, lily, desert rose, cosmos blue flowers, amaryllis, gaillardia, daffodil, apricot lemonade.

I wanted an armful of flowers, flowers to represent each of the children we’ve loved. What will these tattoos look like when you’re old, though? People who really aren’t into tattoos often ask this question. I don’t know, but what parts of the human body do look better with age? I can’t think of any.

I imagine my flowers will age like the rest of me, reminding me of the life I’ve lived. Someday I will have a wrinkly garden on my old lady arm, the flowers holding space for each of our little foster, adoptive, and biological loves. Decades will have gone by, and I will have no idea where some of these sweet children are in the world or how they are doing or what they look like anymore. These flowers will come with me though, the memory of my kids locked in my mind from when they were 4, 5, 12, or 14.

The garden will go where I go and remind me of a beautiful moment in time, no matter how fleeting. My body will carry these flowers as it carries my stretch marks, my tired eyes, my compassionate heart, my strong will, my legs that hike these Montana trails, and my arms that hug these babies. I will add to my garden as children come and go, as they sweep in for a moment, a season, or a forever.

I add artwork to my body because it’s scars and beauty and pain and memory and love wrapped into one image. Isn’t that all of life itself?

Tom Petty’s “Wildflowers” is one of my favorite songs to play with my babies and dance around the living room when we need a reset. The tempo slows me down enough to keep calm and the words remind me of the beauty in chaos.

You belong among the wildflowers
You belong in a boat out at sea
Sail away, kill off the hours
You belong somewhere you feel free

I have a couple more flowers now than I did when this picture was taken and I may have more one day. This story, as is, will be my first draft, yet it’s getting posted right now anyway. We get no second go-rounds at any of this, not when we take a chance on a new tattoo or when we raise our babies or when we do this thing called life.

Isn’t it all so hard? Isn’t it all so beautiful? I think it is.

Got a tattoo story or picture to share? Comment below. I’d love to see or hear it. Thanks to Nan Tepper for the tattoo story prompt idea. Happy inking.