Wow. The part about losing sanity daily with his intense emotional needs. Us with regular tyrannical small people we created doing the same somehow pales. How do you heal relationships but with better other ones! Lady, Happy Substackaversary!
Shalagh, thanks for reading! Ugh, it was SO hard on ALL parents, but yes, the added trauma foster kiddos were carrying during that time doubled down on the intensity sometimes.
Exactly! Those who were hurt in relationships need relationships to heal. 💜 Thanks for being here!
Reading about your little boy’s first birthday party invitation and the care you took to help him feel truly seen and valued hit me on a deeply personal level. I’ve often heard people say, “I could never foster; I’d get too attached.” And each time, my heart twinges because I realise how many children will never hear a safe adult say, “I’m here for you, no matter how hard it gets.” How you navigated the early days of the pandemic, when everything felt so dark and isolated, it made your commitment to this little boy stand out even more. You gave him something that was as constant as it was kind. A glimpse of a loving home that demonstrated respect, warmth, and hope. Thank you for letting us in on your journey. As someone who’s lived the reality of bouncing around in the care system without ever finding a permanent foster family, I find hope in seeing people like you committed to pouring genuine love into a child, however long they stay.
Matt, thank you so much for reading and taking the time to write such a meaningful comment. I needed to hear every word of this right now, both as a foster parent and a writer. I respect your strength and courage in sharing your lived experience within the system; I always am hoping to come across more shared accounts from those who have experienced it first-hand, so I am happy to now subscribe to your publication! I am in the process of writing a book about our journey as foster parents thus far, and sometimes I wonder if I should carry on with the project or not. Comments such as yours, left at the exact time I needed them, help me know I am going to keep moving forward. Thank you and I look forward to reading more of your work!
Thanks so much 🙏 Honestly, it's my pleasure. Voices from our world are so important. Writing here sometimes feels like writing in a vacuum, but people will find it. I look forward to your next piece too 😊
Ah, he definitely did enjoy the party. He was such a social and friendly little boy and he was always finding ways to celebrate the good and fun things in the midst of the storms of his young life. Being a foster parent has been both the best and hardest thing I’ve ever done! Thanks, Tania.
That’s so true! Sometimes the things they remember that I have totally forgotten crack me up and other times I’m like, can you actually please forget that? Why is that the thing you remember?! But, they definitely absorb the good stuff too, “lessons” we don’t even know we’re teaching.
Wow. The part about losing sanity daily with his intense emotional needs. Us with regular tyrannical small people we created doing the same somehow pales. How do you heal relationships but with better other ones! Lady, Happy Substackaversary!
Shalagh, thanks for reading! Ugh, it was SO hard on ALL parents, but yes, the added trauma foster kiddos were carrying during that time doubled down on the intensity sometimes.
Exactly! Those who were hurt in relationships need relationships to heal. 💜 Thanks for being here!
It's about to be mine too!
Reading about your little boy’s first birthday party invitation and the care you took to help him feel truly seen and valued hit me on a deeply personal level. I’ve often heard people say, “I could never foster; I’d get too attached.” And each time, my heart twinges because I realise how many children will never hear a safe adult say, “I’m here for you, no matter how hard it gets.” How you navigated the early days of the pandemic, when everything felt so dark and isolated, it made your commitment to this little boy stand out even more. You gave him something that was as constant as it was kind. A glimpse of a loving home that demonstrated respect, warmth, and hope. Thank you for letting us in on your journey. As someone who’s lived the reality of bouncing around in the care system without ever finding a permanent foster family, I find hope in seeing people like you committed to pouring genuine love into a child, however long they stay.
Matt, thank you so much for reading and taking the time to write such a meaningful comment. I needed to hear every word of this right now, both as a foster parent and a writer. I respect your strength and courage in sharing your lived experience within the system; I always am hoping to come across more shared accounts from those who have experienced it first-hand, so I am happy to now subscribe to your publication! I am in the process of writing a book about our journey as foster parents thus far, and sometimes I wonder if I should carry on with the project or not. Comments such as yours, left at the exact time I needed them, help me know I am going to keep moving forward. Thank you and I look forward to reading more of your work!
Thanks so much 🙏 Honestly, it's my pleasure. Voices from our world are so important. Writing here sometimes feels like writing in a vacuum, but people will find it. I look forward to your next piece too 😊
What a sweet boy. I hope he enjoyed his party and what an amazing thing to be a foster parent ❤️
Ah, he definitely did enjoy the party. He was such a social and friendly little boy and he was always finding ways to celebrate the good and fun things in the midst of the storms of his young life. Being a foster parent has been both the best and hardest thing I’ve ever done! Thanks, Tania.
It's amazing how just living our lives with children teaches them so much more than we could teach intentionally, for good or for ill
That’s so true! Sometimes the things they remember that I have totally forgotten crack me up and other times I’m like, can you actually please forget that? Why is that the thing you remember?! But, they definitely absorb the good stuff too, “lessons” we don’t even know we’re teaching.
I remember that preparation. 😊
Some memories just stick with ya, don’t they?
They sure do.